statistical significance

Book Review: Operation Beautiful

2012-02-17T10:47:00.000-08:00

What I wanted: A book full of beautiful, affirming, positive post-it notes, and dramatic stories about the women who left them, or found them.

What I found: After months of reading snippets here and there (which the book lends itself to easily), I finally finished this book. I'm personally a huge fan of Operation beautiful, and thus had pretty high expectations for this book. The book is arranged into 2 kinds of material - some material written by Caitlin which is a combination of her life experiences and expert advice, and stories and notes submitted by others. I didn't really expect the parts written by Caitlin, and while they boosted my "You're so smart you already knew all this" ego, they were a little boring in general. I really did like her emphasis on naming and confronting "fat talk" though.

I wanted this book to bring me to tears every time I touched it. I wanted to relate to the women in the book. Perhaps because a few of the stories were a little too dramatic - a chapter on eating disorders? stories about obsessively working out? - not really something I relate to easily, I never felt like any of the stories or post-its in the book were about me. Which I found disappointing, because I feel very strongly about freeing women from the guilt and feelings of inadequacy that naturally result from most women deciding it is very important to look like a Victoria's Secret (or worse, runway) model.

Another reason for my mild dissatisfaction was the emphasis on physical health. For me, body image is an issue related primarily to my emotional and mental health. I think the "Transforming the way you see yourself" subtitle seems to suggest more of an emphasis on changes to one's thought process than the book contains.

Overall, the book was pretty good, and very positive, which itself is pretty novel. It addresses a very important issue, albeit a bit incompletely. I particularly enjoyed a few of the mantras at the end:

Change the way you see, not the way you look.
The most amazing surprises are discovered when you blaze your own trail.
You already have everything you need.
Nothing is more powerful than hope.

My biggest concern now is which friend to pass it onto next :)

"May you live all the days of your life."

2012-02-07T13:00:00.000-08:00

-Jonathan Swift

Real Simple Solutions

2012-01-23T10:33:00.000-08:00

Locking myself at home until I'd gotten enough work done worked for a few hours, but by Saturday evening, when I got a "Hey, I'm hanging out at a really chill housewarming party, you should show up" text, I didn't need a second one to convince me. Never mind I don't really know the person who's house it is, it was out of the house and away from my job search, so I was in.

It ended up being a lot of fun, or at least as much fun as the mental challenge of Scattergories can be when you're pretty bad at it, and the perfect break. Mid-way through the evening however, I spotted something amazing on the bookshelf. This:

I simply could not resist it. But I was a a "party", and hiding in the corner with my nose submerged in even an amazing book, is not something Real Simple would approve of. So I politely asked to borrow it instead, promised to return it within a month's time, and finished it last night, just after the Giants regrettably finished off the 49ers.

And this my friends, is what I learned/liked/wanted to remember:

1. Cleaning makeup brushes is easy. I should really do it. Seriously. Bacteria. Gross.

2. They recommend a yearly hair moisturizing treatment. I have a bottle of mayonnaise from Trader Joe's that tastes bad. I need to combine these two...

3. Sugar + vaseline makes a great exfoliator for your lips.

4. You can add warm water to a pack of instant oatmeal for a quick facial - leave it on your face 5 to 10 min.

5. Fill an empty flower box with pine cones in the winter, for a seasonally appropriate look.

6. Use baking soda and warm water to clean of baked-on food.

7. Freeze berries or grapes to put in cocktails as ice cubes.

8. Hang a lint roller from your closet door knob.

9. Use a paper towel stand to organize ribbons.

10. Get a cobbler to add rubber to the bottoms of your shoes to preserve them.

11. Clean jewelry with 1/2 cup of warm water and 3-4 drops of dishwashing liquid.

12. Use a pumice stone to remove pills from sweaters (I don't understand how this works, but I'll try!).

13. Make a master list of important dates (birthdays, etc.) for annual reference instead of transferring dates from one calendar to another.

14. Choose onions and garlic with the driest, papery skin. They'll keep for up to 2 months.

15. Make gift tags for presents from seasonal cards.

16. Swirl spinach in salt water to clean it.

17. String lights on a Christmas tree starting at the bottom, and going up vertically, and then won, then up again, etc.

18. Add 1/2 cup vinegar to your bath to moisturize your skin, and simultaneously clean your tub.

19. Loved their list of desk-drawer essentials.

20. Twist-tie cords together/to themselves.

21. Things you can put in your dishwasher: the sink stopper and your hairbrush.

22. Put lotion on your hands, and them insert them into rubber gloves for washing dishes. The hot water will make your skin absorb the moisturizer even more than normally.

23. Use a newspaper to clean mirrors, it leaves less residue than towels.

24. Purchase mini or full-size take out containers to send leftovers home with guests after a dinner party.

(not) Thailand

2012-01-01T15:19:00.000-08:00

I recently packed my bags for a week in Thailand, 3 days after my boyfriend and I decided to go. Without malaria pills. But with a friend with a travel guide. Due to weight imbalances (a reason besides a lack of available seats that standbys sometimes aren't put on planes), we spent the day in the lounge, instead of an airplane to Thailand.

My boyfriend and I searched for other flights, and decided on a 9pm flight to Tel-Aviv. We booked a place to stay for a night, unsuccessfully searched for a Israel travel guide around the airport shops, went through extra security, and settled into our seats with champagne.

The trip was amazing, in several different dimensions - the food, the history, the beauty, the people - but particularly, the adventures. Except for the first night's accommodations, it was all an adventure. Sometimes more planned than others, but nothing other than hurried, basic research went into anything.

It made me think, because some people plan things in advance (For an excellent, and somewhat related post, check this out, via here). Going on a trip without planning meant everything was a surprise (some better than others). One of the most amazing moments of the trip was on top of Masada; we almost skipped the last few "non-essential" (termed so by the brochure we were given) stops on the audio tour due to time constraints, but ended up in one of the most amazing spaces I've ever been in in my life. I won't tell you what it was though, because I think a large part of it was the unexpectedness of it. If I'd read a book that told me it was awesome, would I would have expected it to be awesome, been satisfied, and moved on? On the other hand though, if it hadn't been on the audio tour (a planning-ish tool), would I have gone there at all?

Does it even matter? Would I have enjoyed the surprise as much if it hadn't been a surprise? Should I ever plan a trip again?

Another surprise: At the Dead Sea, instead of having a sandy beach,
the ground leading up to the water is made of snow-resembling salt.

Being Wrong

2011-12-22T23:51:00.000-08:00

Sidenote: Through Landmark, I learned about being right. And how it doesn't matter. But can literally completely destroy relationships. So I've tried to be less right :) Or at least to realize when I'm saying whatever I'm saying to just to prove or emphasize my rightness (had no idea that was a word, wow). Realizing when I'm just trying to be right (versus share important information - which can be the exact same words, but the intent is totally different) and letting go of that need means that I can focus on what the person is really doing/saying, and take ego out of it.

This fantastic TED talk describes the advantages of not needing to be right, but from a different perspective than I mentioned above:

Handmade Christmas Gifts

2011-12-13T08:00:00.000-08:00

Mostly via pinterest, I've found several pretty cool sounding gift ideas for Christmas, or other times. This is a collection of my favorites, often taken from lists people made.

Gifts are listed first, and then the sources:

(image is link) Love the idea of taking lame coasters and covering them with chalkboard paint!

A packet of postcards from the recipients favourite place ie Paris or New York… they make great talking points if you frame them! Herbal tea and a fancy teacup

A pair of gardening gloves with a packet of seeds

A bag of gourmet coffee and/or a coffee mug

Gourmet popcorn

Bottle opener and corkscrew set

Pedometer – encourage exercise. There are a few that are less than $10

Hand painted Christmas ornament

Sushi kit (bamboo roller, chopsticks, seaweed sheets)

Source:

http://www.stayathomemum.net.au/christmas/gifts-christmas/christmas-gifts-100-gifts-under-10/

3. Decorative cupcake liners (

4. A favorite magazine

6. Packets of flower or herb seeds for planting

26. Monogrammed coasters (there's a great how to here)

37. Scented candles (this site always has things like that & you get a credit for signing up)

50. Specialty olive oils such as this one

52. Unusual pastas like this red chili linguini

58. Ice scraper

76. Gourmet spice mixes

78. Fridge magnets

120. iTunes giftcard

129. Makeup brush set

141. Birthstone earrings

Source:

http://jennasjourneyblog.blogspot.com/2011/10/150-stocking-stuffer-ideas.html

"What's an easy trick that can help you escape unemployment?"

2011-12-10T18:41:00.001-08:00

-source

He continues:

Write about it.

Robin Hanson points to this passage from Robert Trivers new book The Folly of Fools: The Logic of Deceit and Self-Deception in Human Life:

Writing about job loss improves one’s chance of reemployment. This sort of writing appears to be cathartic – people immediately feel better. More striking, at least in one study, is a sharply increased chance of getting a job. After six months, 53 percent of writers had found a new job, compared with only 18 percent of non writers. One effect of writing is that it helps you work through your anger so it is not displaced onto a new, prospective employer or, indeed, revealed to the employer in any form.

The study cited is by James Pennebaker, author of The Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words Say About Us.

Guess it's time to dust off the old blog. Except I'm not exactly bitter about past jobs. I think there is a lot of value to writing about it though, and intend to do so. Later. I'll be out of town for most of the next 3 weeks, but when I come back in 2012... It's about to get really boring :)

"Did you know that birth order is commonly believed to have a profound and lasting effect on psychological development? And that the middle sister has a greater chance of having a special wine named just for her?"

2011-11-13T15:11:00.001-08:00

At Target a few days ago, I came across an unusual bottle of wine. The label was much more modern than most wine labels, and it caught my eye. Especially because it had the word "sister" in it. I have 3 of them, and if there is sister news out there, I need to know it. Joined with the word "middle" (my position among my siblings), you have my attention.

On closer inspection, the bottles not only had cute artwork and cute names, but when you turned them around, each variety had a brief description on the back. I was so intrigued by these, I checked out their website, and even took their quiz to figure out which wine I was - each type of wine comes with it's own "Middle Sister" personality. In surprising news (to no one):

You're a Mischief Maker. You like to stir the pot. And because it's usually filled with one of your fabulous culinary creations, you have lots of friends. Maybe sometimes your schemes go a bit awry, like the time you tried to fix up your brother with Cameron Diaz. But whereas the rest of the world is gray, you are a brilliant, shining rainbow of bodaciousness. We toast your unquenchable spirit with Middle Sister Mischief Maker Cabernet Sauvignon.

And on the actual bottle:

Have you ever dated brothers? Worn leather pants to a wedding? Paired white wine with red meat? Then you just might be a mischief maker. You keep us up after bedtime on a school night. You change your hair color like most people change their socks. You make lives more complicated, but less boring. You'll be in the stories we tell our grandchildren. You love trouble. And we love you.

If you know a middle sister, you now know what to get her for Christmas. You're welcome.

"Welcome Home" - US Passport Control

2011-09-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

One of the greatest adventures of my life ended yesterday.

Here's to the next one!

"I don't like standard beauty - there is no beauty without strangeness"

2011-08-11T06:45:00.000-07:00

-Karl Lagerfeld

Notice anything unusual? I love it, and may never go back.

This is obvious, and I realize it now, but I didn't before. And so I will write about.

I arrived in South Africa. They say it's winter here, but given the lack of days below 50 degrees FAHRENHEIT you people!! (sorry, just a bit of frustration about "Oh, it's 12 degrees today" and the lack of it making any sense to me because they're all into Celsius here), it din't really occur to me that it was actually winter. Then my face started to resemble a combination of leather and scales, so I decided I was still dehydrated from the plane ride, and tried to drink a little more water. Then my hair started to crackle on the ends, and I figured the cheap conditioner I bought wasn't that great, but buying supplemental leave-in-conditioner, even though I wanted to, would just be extra money I didn't need to spend for such a short time. I mean what's a few months with bad hair?

A very bad thing my dears. A very bad thing. But thinking about it led to these two thoughts:

1. "mother nature it's winter!" Okay, I didn't actually say that, but I do like "mother nature" better than other "mother ______" phrases, so maybe I'll say it one day. After mentioning my skin's lack of radiance to my boyfriend (and this my dears, is why I may never be able to live without him), he asked, "Did you try putting lotion on it?""Um... No." <-this may seem strange, but I've never moisturized by face in July before, and why start now?.... oh, because I always do in the winter. And it's winter! Like really, seriously, for real, lack of humidity, legitimate winter, and even though its July and 52 degrees, I can still moisturize my face. This was huge.

2. Theory: We all have "set points" of primping necessary for leaving the house. These of course vary with destination, but also with age and over time. For example, for me this involves having clean, non-frizzy hair, not smelling, and wearing clothes at least as formal as jeans and a tank top (ie. no pajamas or exercise clothes). For the girls described by one of my German house-mates that she encountered while studying abroad in the US, the routine included a shower, straightened hair, excessive makeup, and cute pajamas.

Given that my set point includes non-frizzy hair, the conditioner + lack of humidity in the air were annoying me, just a little bit, every day. Would I have eventually gotten used to it and changed my set point? Probably. But given the $7 (ouch) who-knows-how-good-it-is bottle of leave in conditioner at the grocery store, it was worth getting back to my set point.

By "set point" all I mean it the point at which you feel comfortable leaving the house. I don't mean the one at which you feel able to attract a mate, dressed up, or your mode or median look. It is simply the minimum, and for most people, their usual primping for work is greater than their primping to go buy milk. I would speculate that there is somewhat of a linear relationship (you start with X, and as the occasion necessitates, add on to it) in the amount of primping for just one person- if you wouldn't leave the house without a shower, you wouldn't go to work without a shower and makeup. I don't think however, there is a linear relationship between levels across people. For one person leaving the house might require a shower, and makeup, while for another, it might require no shower, but absolutely all makeup. So it's not that shower is always more crucial than makeup universally, just for some people. And there are of course certain aspects people care about - I would probably gladly never shower again if I never smelled bad and my hair was always clean - but for other people, the act of showering itself is the crucial element.

What do you need to do before you leave the house? I most notably feel no need to dry my hair - I go places all the time with it still wet and up in a bun.

"Robertson offers accommodation to fulfill any need and fit any pocket. "

2011-08-02T07:15:00.000-07:00

-South Africa Travel Website

My last post is a little ironic. Because here comes the complaining. I moved from my life of luxury into a former hostel. I kind of wish it was still one, because then someone, somewhere besides me would care if it got cleaned once a year or so. This is challenging - to slightly relax my standards, but also convince the right people to help me maintain a some sort of health levels of grime/mildew/number of unwashed dishes in the sink. I must be assertive and honest, and go against the others who are fine with the tragedy-of-the-commons tragically filthy common room. Which is very uncomfortable for me. I kind of want to just give up and hide.

But during the day, I come here and research hiking trails around South Africa, like it's my job. Because it is in fact, not just my job, but potentially the best job ever. Don't blame me if I become a work-a-holic so I never have to go home. Escapism has always been my coping method of choice.

I'll stop drinking when it stops being free.

2011-07-26T14:43:00.000-07:00

I've gained several kilos in the past few months. I decided to help get back to a more healthy weight, I'd stop drinking as frequently. But then I came here.

After 3 days of standby at the Atlanta airport and one at RDU, I made it on the flight to Jo'burg. You know, to go to a third world country and experience a different culture, especially to gain a better understanding of poverty and the environmental challenges facing a developing country. So back to the flight I finally made it on... in business class, because clearly, that's how I roll. Or because standbys get whatever seats are left, and that was left. Or because I'm spoiled rotten by most people around me, specifically my boyfriend, family, and best-friend's family. Please though, feel no need to stop, really.

A 16 hour flight in Business class, with lie-flat seats which usually costs ~$8,000? Business class people taking me under their wing to get me through the airport? Getting my passport stamped without filling out the forms? Met at the airport late at night by friendly faces? A bed with a hot water bottle in it, keeping it warm for when I arrived? Breakfast overlooking one of the most amazing views in the world? A cool project to work on? An amazing dinner at a 5-star resort? A nap?!?

They keep telling me the work starts tomorrow, today was just the get over the jet lag and go to the family birthday dinner special occasion, but I don't really believe them. Clearly, I am a princess-queen.

Please remind me of all this when I start complaining.

Day 3: Things I've learned so far

2011-07-24T05:49:00.000-07:00

Sleep the night before. I slept about an hour and fifteen minutes the night before my first day here. I slept another 4 hours on benches and the floor at the airport, but its just not the same. I almost forgot to check my luggage. Being awake and aware is important. Make it a priority next time.

Empty my water bottle before security. It hurts my heart to try to chug the entire thing, but end up dumping some of it out into a trash can. Its just not right.

Eat dinner and fill up my water bottle before 5:30, when the 2 hour wait at the gate starts.

Ask nicely for what you really want. I asked the gate agent to roll me over to the flight today, and she responded with a gruff, "I have to go to the next gate" (no?) followed up by, "Okay, you're listed for tomorrow" (so actually yes). Today, I asked to have my checked bag back. I wanted a change of clothes, but really deodorant. I remarked that after they told me I couldn't have it back, and they gave me deodorant.

Keep an extra napkin with you.

Think very, very seriously about every ounce you put in your carry on. You will carry it not just on, but everywhere else. Its going to be heavy no matter what, but minimize it to the extent you can. And once you decide you do absolutely love and need everything in it, you don't complain as much about all the weight :)

Wear clothes that dry easily. I've been wearing the same dress for 4 days in a row now. I've washed it twice though, so while I don't smell, depending on where I'm staying and what time I'm leaving, I sometimes don't have time to let the dress completely air dry. Having a dress that dried more quickly would be good for the nightly clothes washing routine.

Keep a change of clothes in your carry-on. I didn't believe this, and had a pretty miserable second day. I had extra clothes in my checked bag, and assumed I'd either have access to them (which I don't really), or I'd be at my destination and I'd purchase necessities there if my bag didn't make it. I stopped by home for a night and got an extra change of clothes then, but I would have loved to have had them the second day.

The Airport

2011-07-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

I started trying yesterday.

Taken from where I was sleeping, on the floor.
Note to self: next time get way more sleep the night before you need to go.

I purchased a deeply discounted ticket to Johannesburg, South Africa on Wednesday night. My final destination is around Cape Town, but I have to fly standby into Jo'burg using a specific airline. That airline has one flight at day, at 7:20pm, from an airport in a city I don't live in.

I took the 6:30am flight from RDU to the airport the Jo'burg flight leaves from. In my first day at the airport, waiting for the 7:20pm departure, the most interesting thing I saw was a guy wearing khaki cargo shorts, a green ill-fitting linen button up shirt, and a pink hat with fake flowers on it. The most interesting person I met was an older gentlemen named Frank, who was also trying to fly standby on the flight. He lived in South Africa for 20 years, then moved to Britain for 20 years, and now lives in Cancun.

The most interesting conversation I overheard was between two people sitting on a bench next to the one I was sleeping on. Their conversation was about the man's academic and job history - he was an entrepreneur, and the girl didn't get the chance to talk much, but kept asking questions that encouraged him. They didn't seem to know each other well at all, and were waiting for a fellow colleague. However, they were not all going to the same place - the man was on his way to some sort of a convention for work. He'd invited his girlfriend of a year to go with him, so she would understand his business more. The girl pointed out that this strategy might not be the best, delicately. Their conversation wasn't particularly exciting, but my one-third-awake self tried desperately to determine the relationship between these two people - clearly not relatives, not friends, and they didn't appear to be co-workers.

The Jo'burg flight was oversold by 22 people at noon. They asked for 13 people to give up their seats for a $750 travel voucher, and to be put on a plane that went through Dubai, and arrived in Jo'burg 4 hours later on a partner airline I can't fly on. I was pretty surprised that only 2 people took this deal. It suggests to me that Jo'burg must not be very many people's final destination, or the $750 travel voucher isn't worth much to most people (I heard rumors that it expires in a month or something, which makes it a lot less desirable?).

The most dramatic character by far was a young, stylish woman who looked like she was of Indian descent. After hearing the announcements that the flight was overbooked, she realized that her boarding pass, which lacked a seat assignment, meant she wouldn't make it on unless 13 people volunteered to wait. She yelled at the gate agents a bit that she was going because of a medical emergency, and that she'd paid $4,000 for her ticket the day before. But in the end, she had to line up with the other customers who hadn't made it on the flight for their tickets to Dubai.

I was surprised by how involved in my life one man tried to get. Seeing that I also didn't make it on to the flight, he encouraged me to "make them make it right," and when I told him I knew that having a standby ticket I would most likely not make it on, and I'd try again tomorrow, he said, "Well then make them get you a hotel tonight!" Which is in no way part of the airline's obligations to me. They simply agreed to let me on if there was space, and the rest was up to me. I passed the man again later leaving the airport and he asked me if they'd "made it right", which was again awkward - they had nothing to make right with me. I'm not sure why he was so concerned with me - perhaps anger at the airline? Whatever it was, it seemed strange.

Gate agents have an emotionally tough job, in my opinion. I'd be curious to learn how many crying customers they deal with a day. The trauma of missing a flight, not making it onto a flight you purchased a seat for, flights being delayed past the crucial time, etc. is such a big deal to the customers, but I imagine that gate agents have probably heard it all, multiple times, and are get used to angry, frantic, and particularly crying people. I have a hard time thinking of customer service jobs where employees have to deal with as many not just angry, but frantic and crying people a day as gate agents do. I'm sure they're out there though, any thoughts about what they are?

Art is mad

2011-07-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

Preface: I don't understand art. From drawings in caves to modern art sculptures, I would never claim to "get it."

It looks like I cut off one of the feet on my tights?

My little sister is a photographer. To me, this means when I ask her to take a picture of my outfit for weardrobe, I come out with the image to the left. Which wasn't exactly what I was looking for, and to me, is a little silly. The outfit was fine, the purpose of it was to have a picture to document it, not silly abstract blobs of color...

Then I had a conversation with a friend about hipster music. I was slightly surprised to learn that while some artists can produce the same album over and over again, if a hipster artist produces a album that sounds too similar to his or her previous one, they are condemned. Alternatively, if his or her new album sounds too different, they lose their fans, who liked their original sound. This seems a little unfair, and silly to me...

This is a direction I hope my sister never heads back in.

A little while ago I spoke to a potter about her incredibly intricate work. She mentioned that it was hard to stop making pieces that were selling well and move on to something new. As an economist, I condemned her (inside!), because why make art nobody wants to buy? Its so inefficient! And silly...

Then I realized that producing the same thing over and over agin means you're a factory. For an artist to grow and truly be an artist, not just an assembly line worker, they can't keep doing the same thing over and over again. The change and growth down the road ahead is the most important part.

All photographs were taken by the beautiful artist behind artismad.com.

The Master Packing List?

2011-06-05T20:24:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a weekend trip, where I walked about 4 miles with everything I'd brought with me on my back (the trusty Jansport didn't stay empty for long). I've taken a couple short trips recently, and I always pack more than I need, and end up regretting lugging it all around. I'm still working on refining the optimal list of items that fulfill the usefulness-to-weight ratio, but this is what I've gotten it down to so far:

Sunglasses
Chapstick
Tissues
Deodorant
Toothbrush + toothpaste
Transportation + lodging info
Cash + cards: credit, debit, driver's license, and health insurance
Granola bar(s) + water bottle
Phone + charger
Camera
Ipod + book + earplugs
Scarf + sweater + leggings (an entire new layer for when its cold!)
Dresses (cotton sundresses weigh 0.001 pounds, are great for layering, and are super comfortable) + slip and other undergarments

Noticeably absent: I don't use a hairbrush or comb on a regular basis - when I put conditioner in my hair, I comb it out with my fingers and that's all my straight-no-matter-what-you-do-hair needs.

Things I didn't use:

Ipod
3 of 4 granola bars
Toothbrush <-just kidding.

And so the refining and optimizing continues. What do you find indispensable on trips? Anything I should leave out?

“Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school”

2011-05-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

-Albert Einstein

With the unpacking of the loyal pink Jansport, school is truly over forever!

Grilled Cheese Sandwhiches

2011-05-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

I planned every morsel I was going to eat this week. So far I've eaten one thing I said I was going to. Not the point. As one person, I find it easiest to get a couple ingredients (ie. bread and cheese) and use them all week in various ways. Otherwise I have too much of one thing, and it ends up going bad. This week it's been grilled cheese sandwhiches, inspiration via pinterest. The first one was delicious, the second is lunch today, and the rest are to come!

Source: pink-to-green.blogspot.com via Edith on Pinterest

Source: closetcooking.com via Edith on Pinterest

Source: healthyfoodforliving.com via Edith on Pinterest

Source: closetcooking.blogspot.com via Edith on Pinterest

"Don't compare your life to others"

2011-05-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

Source: 365daysyoga.tumblr.com via Edith on Pinterest

-source
Still obsessed with pinterest, yes.

I just spent the weekend with seven amazing women. I was the 4th fattest one there. I made the least money by far... I could maybe keep going on? But also, I'm pretty happy with me these days, so I'll leave it at those two. Especially since when you have a high income, its pretty easy to find an awesome pair of silver wedges when you have $69.99 to spend.

Not so much when you can honestly spend maybe up to $30. The point however, my dears, is that to some of the women I was with this weekend, $69.99 on a pair of shoes is nothing. And I wish I could have those shoes. It took me roughly 17 seconds to get attached to them. I'm not even sure I could convince myself to spend the $70 even if I had it was given to me thought - it's still a lot of money.

Comparing my income to theirs is silly. Comparing my thrifting prowess to theirs is silly. And it's not just that we're each good at different things - they make a lot of money and buy "whatever they want" (which I realize is my perception and I'm sure not a reality without mountains of credit card debt, and even still, not possible), so they look nice, and I make very little money and spend hours treasure hunting at thrift shops to look nice. That's not the point at all, and most likely isn't true, especially if try to generalize. People are different, and I don't think the sort of "She's pretty hot, but I have a great personality so it all evens out" reasoning is more than half-true.

My role in the lives of the women I spent the weekend with was not to compare myself to them or be jealous of them. It was to connect with them as humans and have fun together. I struggled with this sometimes when they had anything from a beautiful nail polish color to the ability to speed clean a bathroom without hating life. I sometimes let some of the things these women had distract me from them as humans, and didn't connect and have fun with them at as deep a level as I could have, had I not been so distracted.

This was a mistake. And the point of mistakes to learn. So lesson for the day: focusing on characteristics or things other have that I don't hinders my ability to connect with them. So get over it, and focus on what's important :)

Pinterest Piqued my Interest

2011-05-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

Pinterest is amazing. I signed up for an invite, just to feel cooler after Tania mentioned it. I think it is better at collecting images and links than tumblr, depsite the fact that I don't actually use my tubmlr. I love the way I can visually see everything. I haven't done too much - yet - just some basic food and fashion pins. If you want an invite, let me know.

"If any of your daughters are ever faced with some kind of criticism of their physical appearance or weight, they should call me ..."

2011-05-13T10:54:00.000-07:00

"There really is no need to make something like my participation in a skin cancer PSA into a sexist rant about my weight and physical appearance ... you are the only one who looks bad in this scenario ... You're a full-grown man with teenage daughters who are probably dealing with the sexist, body-obsessed media environment that is difficult for all women. Is this really the legacy you want to be leaving for yourself? As a person who is known for his hot body, you must find it easy to judge the weight fluctuations of others, especially young women. If any of your daughters are ever faced with some kind of criticism of their physical appearance or weight, they should call me ..."

-- Meghan McCain in an open letter to Glenn Beck, after he aired a cruel tirade in which he pretended to vomit at the idea of her naked when she participated in a public-service announcement to raise awareness about skin cancer. (The Daily Beast) via MyDaily

I'm not 100% sure how I feel about Meghan McCain - she seems articulate, intelligent, and witty. But I know I personally probably wouldn't have heard of her or paid any attention to her unless she was the daughter of John McCain. And being the child of someone famous doesn't mean you have intelligent things to say or make good life choices, and listening to their advice on anything except being rich and famous isn't something I endorse. But I did love the letter linked to above.

"People often say that ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder,’

2011-05-11T13:55:00.000-07:00

...and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves.
-Salma Hayek
via fitnessista

Graduation Shoes

2011-04-22T23:08:00.000-07:00

Graduation is so soon. I'm one paper and 2 final exams away from it. But let's be honest about what I'm really worried about: WHAT SHOES SHOULD I WEAR?!?!

We all wear the same cap and gown. But the shoes. The only (except say, hair, and I understand, but want to be overly dramatic. Also, writing on your cap in glitter is unacceptable, unless its particularly witty) way of expressing a bit of individualism in the mass of robotic ants in strange garments. Its important.

So when Leia reminded me of how awkward it is to take a picture of feet, I decided to post these. I tried these wedges out the other day as potential anti-robotic-ant-ness shoes. They hurt just a little too much though I think, so I'll try out a few other pairs before the big day...

Shoes: Guess, thrifted

"I felt like I was going places. I felt like I was already somewhere good."

2011-04-20T21:18:00.000-07:00

Soon I will be 25. I'm excited. It seems like a cool way to be.

Kate is already 25, mid quarter-life crisis, and wrote about it here.

Here are some things that have happened since my last birthday:

I started this blog. I got to know Bear’s family. I decided to become a freelance writer, rather than any number of more practical, structured things, and I started actually doing that. I moved into a new apartment. I got better at cooking. I co-led high holiday services and a lot of bar and bat mitzvahs. I got married. I started a second blog. I got to know Bear better. I joined an amazing writing group. I cut off my hair. I felt gorgeous. I felt sexy. I ordered cake with my meal. I got freelance work. I got a job offer. I made friends. I got to the point where I could run on the treadmill for less laughable amounts of time without welcoming the thought of death. I felt healthier. I felt like I was going places. I felt like I was already somewhere good.

I can’t tell if that’s a lot or not. But I think it might be.

Way to kill my enthusiasm Kate. Allow me to elaborate:

Here are some things that have happened since my last birthday:
I just about went crazy because of it, and then I failed the macro and microeconomics preliminary qualifying exams for a Phd. I celebrated 3 years of dating one of the most amazing people I will ever come in contact with in my life. I volunteered. I travelled with one of my amazing sisters. I visited my grandparents for 2 weeks and got to know them much better. I explored San Francisco with my sister, and on my own, including walking almost 8 miles in Rainbow flip flops one day. I moved to a small, cramped apartment. By a beautiful lake with an amazing trail that makes me happy to be alive and very calm every time I get near it. I started my last year of school (ever?!). I broke up with the aforementioned amazing individual. I spent more than I spent last year (a bad thing, when I haven't had a job other than tutoring in 2 years). I spent another 5 months studying for the prelims. I started eating meat occasionally again. I gained 10 pounds. I passed micro and failed macro, officially getting myself kicked out of the Phd program. I dyed my hair temporarily purple. I visited Savannah. At the absolute wrong time and place, I met someone new. I started dating him eventually anyway, because he was just that awesome. I hurt a very close friendship. I deepened two other very close friendships. I did the Landmark Forum and the Advanced Course, and I took responsibility for my life. I told my parents I wanted to let them into my life - all of it - not just the parts they'd be happy to hear and proud of me for. I explored a new city, and got out of my comfort zone. I drove 7 hours on my own, twice. I convinced a friend to let me throw a Saint Patrick's day party at their place, and didn't leave anyone out. I survived tornadoes. I dressed up. I drank wine. I ate delicious food. I danced and sang. I forgave. I smiled.

I feel like I should be jealous of Kate (although I realize she didn't include quite as many/ any negative things in her year review as I did :) but they definitely happened to her as well - unless she's some sort of robot blogger ). She's gone places, done things, and moved up in the world man. I definitely wish I had a job right about now, but being jealous of everyone in the world with a job is a little too much trouble for me. And the rest of what she has and who she is really great. But so am I :) Just really, really different life paths. But both great.

And besides both being great, I also wholeheartedly echo her sentiment:

I felt like I was going places. I felt like I was already somewhere good.

Here's to 25 years of greatness, and even more to come! :D

Disclaimers:
1. Sorry for the inordinate number of smileys in this post. I was just happy. I'll try to keep it under control in the future.
2. Kate, if you should happen to read this, I think you're awesome. And what you've done in the past year is absolutely a lot. CONGRATULATIONS on all of it! And let's be friends.

"A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others."

2011-03-21T10:26:00.000-07:00

Some signs and symptoms of inner peace:

A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experience.
An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
A loss of interest in judging other people.
A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
A loss of interest in conflict.
A loss of the ability to worry.
Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to love them back.

Source, via here.

Japan

2011-03-11T17:34:00.000-08:00

From The Atlantic.

"Angels fly because they take themselves lightly"

2011-03-09T14:38:00.000-08:00

-Arianna Huffington's Mother, source via here

From Arianna's International Women's Day reflections on her mother:

Of the many things she taught me -- including the delightful notion that "Angels fly because they take themselves lightly" -- the one that's proved most useful in my work life is the understanding that failure is not the opposite of success, it's an integral part of success.
...
The last time my mother was upset with me was when she saw me talking with my children and opening my mail at the same time. She despised multitasking. She believed it was a way to miss life, to miss the gifts that come only when you give 100 percent of yourself to a task, a relationship, a moment.
...
There was a magnificence in the way she approached everything in her life. Especially her role as a mother. She brought me up to believe that there was nothing I should be afraid to try while at the same time making it clear that she would love me not one iota less if I failed.

You're not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

2011-03-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

-Source, via Digg

"a sequin's main function on this earth is as a fabulous maker"

2011-03-03T10:56:00.000-08:00

-Jentine, at myedit

And from the same post, a nugget of thrifting wisdom:

It is imperative to check any thrifted sequin garment before taking it home because if any beads or sequins are already missing, it is often not worth the effort to fix but if the garment is fully intact, chances are those sequins are sewn on right proper.

And a comment on fashion choices:

Yet it's one step to buy the sequins and it's another leap to actually wear them. I used to be afraid of the sparkle, worried about what people would say about me behind my back until I just got over it. Meh. Some people wear Sponge Bob Square Pants pajama bottoms to sign their mortgage papers, and I wear sequins to go for a walk. There is room for all kinds of fashion choices on this earth. Isn't that nice? My heart is warmed.

Passion is temporary. True love is "where the magic is."

2011-03-02T09:20:00.000-08:00

Surprisingly, I am not talking about relationships with others. From an article on finding your "passion" (via here):

This is how people find their way. Instead of endless self-examination and the search for some inscrutable holy emotional grail, they act.

Of course, passion isn't bad. But business can be a bit like love. When people first fall in love, they experience that woozy and besotted feeling that verges on obsessiveness. That's passion, and it's great. But as couples bond more enduringly, that fiery intensity can give way to a calmer warmth. That's true love – and that's where the magic is.

So, next time you're on either the giving or receiving end of advice, skip the hot and steamy passion and go for the calm and deeper love. Ask questions like:

What did you do last Saturday afternoon – for fun, for yourself?

What books do you read or blogs do you visit, not for work, but just because you’re interested in them?

What are you great at? What comes easily to you?

What would you do – or are you already doing – for free?

Who is older, Republicans or Democrats?

2011-01-11T10:24:00.000-08:00

I was surprised to learn:

The average age of Republican House members in the new Congress is 54.9, younger than the Republicans’ average age in the previous Congress, 56.5. But the average age of House Democrats has risen, from 58 to 60.2.

Which doesn't say anything about the age of the voter for each party necessarily at all, but is nevertheless, interesting.

"When we long for life without difficulties,

2011-01-05T15:49:00.000-08:00

When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.

~Peter Marshall

"Between stimulus and response there is a space...

2011-01-02T09:23:00.000-08:00

‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’

~Victor Frankl

Source: Zen Habits

Also:

Inner peace is revealed when the inner war ends. We stop looking outside ourselves for solutions to our problems and, instead, turn our attention inward to make peace with our own experience. This simple movement of attention is revolutionary. It heals, calms, and clarifies like nothing else.

And more:

When you are triggered, rather than playing it out in the usual way, stop and breathe.

Simply notice the thought patterns, feelings, and bodily sensations that are present. Don’t freak out – just be curious. What are you thinking? What is the energy behind the thoughts? What feelings and physical sensations are present? These questions allow you to become familiar with how your habits work so they no longer control you.

News: I retake my prelims in 1.5 & 3.5 days. Time to practice creating inner peace.

Why Do Lesbians Earn more than Straight Women?

2010-12-31T07:08:00.000-08:00

Sure, lesbian women are better-educated on average, are more likely to be white, live predominantly in cities, have fewer children, and are significantly more likely to be a professional. But even when you control for these differences, the wage premium is still on the order of 6%.

It is fascinating when the data starts looking like the majority is being discriminated against. Is it wage discrimination, though, or is there an economic argument for why lesbians are getting paid more?

Anybody?

Interesting thoughts here.

"We accept the love we think we deserve"

2010-11-22T17:45:00.000-08:00

-Source

"The Great Unwashed"

2010-11-01T19:10:00.000-07:00

The NY Times featured an article recently about the dirty, filthy people running around the United States these days. Of which I am a (somewhat-proud) member.

I have really dry skin, and in the winter, my skin is often so dry it sometimes hurts after I shower. Although some things like drinking more water help a little, I can't apply lotion to my entire back (what usually hurts the most), so I end up showering much less frequently, and less lengthily (apparently that's a real word?!).

Even in the summer, although I may only wash my hair a few times a week, depending on the current brand of shampoo. I bought dry shampoo recently and I'm excited to try it soon. I'm pretty picky about my hair looking clean, but in general, in the words of Katherine Ashenburg, "we have never needed to wash less."

Any thoughts?

Fantasies and High Fidelity

2010-10-05T11:45:00.000-07:00

That other girl, or other women, whatever, I was thinking that they're just fantasies, you know, and they always seem really great because they're never any problems- and if there are they're cute problems like we bought each other the same Christmas present or she wants to go see a movie I've already seen, you know? And then I come home and you and I have real problems and you don't want to see the movie I wanna see, period. There's no lingerie...

-- I have lingerie!

Yes, you do. You have great lingerie but you also have cotton underwear that's been washed a thousand times and its hanging on the thing and - and they have it too just I don't have to see it because it's not the fantasy - do you understand? I'm tired of the fantasy because it doesn't really exist.

-High Fidelity via here

I've been reading the Shirley P. Glass (yes, NPR's Ira Glass's mom!) book, Not Just Friends for a while now. One of the biggest things I saw from the book was the difference between marriage partners and affair partners - which I think this quote demonstrates. Affair partners offer the thrill and excitement of falling in love, something -ironically- someone you already fell in love with can't offer again.

"Everybody is a genius. But

2010-09-23T13:36:00.000-07:00

...if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid."

-Albert Einstein

HT: Tina

"We've all won the lottery of life"

2010-08-26T18:25:00.000-07:00

-Sheryl WuDunn, "Our Century's Greatest Injustice"

Another highlight of her TED Talk was a story about Bill Gates. Copied from here:

Bill Gates recalls once being invited to speak in Saudi Arabia and finding himself facing a segregated audience. Four-fifths of the listeners were men, on the left. The remaining one-fifth were women, all covered in black cloaks and veils, on the right. A partition separated the two groups. Toward the end, in the question-and-answer session, a member of the audience noted that Saudi Arabia aimed to be one of the Top 10 countries in the world in technology by 2010 and asked if that was realistic. “Well, if you’re not fully utilizing half the talent in the country,” Gates said, “you’re not going to get too close to the Top 10.” The small group on the right erupted in wild cheering.

"To the lovers of the 4 inch and 4 figure heel,"

2010-08-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

That same sister we were just talking about gave me a subscription to Vogue for Christmas last year. Although it's been a treasure all year, the September issue is always the best. It's literally a 726 page book of art. And it's gorgeous.

I kind of wish macroeconomics were as entertaining as Vogue. I tried pretty hard today, and got through ~35 of the 70 pages of macroeconomics I'm supposed to read this week. I've had the September issue of Vogue for 2 days, and I'm on page 332 :)

But back to my favorite quote, from a White House Black Market advertisement, addressed to the following individuals:

To the lover of the 4 inch and 4 figure heel,

To everyone whose dreams are made-to measure,

To all those who've spent their savings to pay for their wallets

Sidenote: I finally saw the documentary the September Issue, and it was... fierce.

Happy Birthday (super)Sister!

2010-08-23T07:08:00.000-07:00

I have 3 sisters. I refer to all of them as "my sister" (as opposed to by name) though. Sometimes people that don't know me well get confused, and think I have one super sister that's writing a book, applying to med school, and still an undergrad? Not true, those are 3 separate sisters. People that do know me either guess which sister it is from what they're doing, stop and ask, or never know.

But today is sister's birthday. Friday morning, at 7:30am (insanely early), we met up at our favorite consignment store's summer clearance sale. These beautiful earrings she picked out aren't really a surprise present, but they are gorgeous!

Happy Birthday sister (applying to med school)!

Weekend Favorites

2010-08-22T20:33:00.000-07:00

1. A good reminder from Mama Pea:

I’m not really into showing you a bunch of new “stuff” on the blog. That’s all it is. Stuff. It doesn’t make my marriage stronger, my kids feel more loved, me any less in need of a shower.

2. This, via Cyndi's (always good!), shared items:

The same person who visits a dentist regularly, takes their children to the pediatrician for vaccinations, or hires an accountant to help work through the complexities of tax law might resolutely avoid seeing a therapist until the problem becomes critical.

In the past year or so, I've thought a lot about mental health. I find it interesting that we see so many other professionals for preventative care in different areas, but almost never when it comes to mental health. I think this helps lead to the social stigma that if you're seeing a therapist, clearly you have major problems - since people in general don't go for the minor ones.

"What is it about 20-somethings?"

2010-08-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

The NY Times recently published an article about us, particularly why we take so long to grow up. As a 20-something myself, I'm pretty curious. But it's also 10 pages long (do they mention ADHD in there somewhere? I'm pretty sure this article is not actually very 20-something friendly, judging by the length alone).

So I read the Lemondrop.com summary. By "read" I mean skimmed the bold parts and read the explanation if the bold part was interesting enough.

I could particularly relate to:

10. You take the phrase "permanent residence" lightly.

NYT says: One-third of people in their 20s move to a new address every year.

Having just moved to the 6th apartment in 5 years... I agree. But also,

3. You consider all your life options still open.

(mostly true, and usually more stressful/confusing than exciting :-/) and

1. Your friends are as confused by where their lives are going as you are.

(at least several of them!)

Are you a 20-something? Do you write posts about articles you didn't read?

Save your time, mental and emotional effort?

2010-08-17T21:17:00.000-07:00

I originally came across an idea somewhere on the internet, and I can't find the pipe ;) it was from now. The article/blog post/whatever it was suggested that a way of reducing stress/having more energy/something good everybody wants was to stop defending your point of view. I was fascinated by this. Today, I read this post that had somewhat the same idea at the end:

Never contradict anyone or seek to prove anything to anyone unless one gets paid for it in cold, hard coin

-George Jean Nathan

I think society would say standing up for oneself and one's opinions is a positive thing. We're lucky to live somewhere where we have the freedom to do so. And I think that there are things worth vehemently defending, and situations where keeping your mouth shut is absolutely the wrong thing to do. But I think we are biased toward defending too much, too often, I would guess, sometimes just to sound smart, not even to have a meaningful discussion.

But I wonder... discussions, debates, arguments - these all take time, mental, and often emotional energy (and I'm rarely paid in cold, hard coin for it!). What would happen if I stopped defending my point of view in "lesser" matters/situations?

For example:
This is the cutest puppy alive.

You may disagree, in which case you are clearly wrong. We can fight about it in the comments. We can have a war between blogs to see who can sneak into their post the cutest picture of their dog each day. We can add polls to ask the readers. We could analyze, discuss, and review... and in the end, I'm guessing neither party would have changed their mind.

When deciding if it is important to defend your point of view, I think you should consider the importance of the topic, and who you're talking to. If the topic isn't important, don't defend. If the person you're talking to is unlikely to change their mind, even when presented with virtually indisputable logical and evidence, probably simply stating that you disagree, and politely declining to discuss the matter is a better route than discussion.

I know we all decide not to discuss things with some people sometime, but I think the tendency is to discuss more than is optimal. I'm going to try to pay more attention to this try to catch myself if I start defending something that doesn't need to be defended then, there, to them.

Wet and Dry Measuring Cups

2010-08-13T12:08:00.000-07:00

Reflecting on what I learned this summer, one of the most practical things came from the introduction to the book Babycakes. I'll post later about the book itself, but the lesson I learned is:

THIS

IS NOT THE SAME AS

THIS.

The first is for wet ingredients, and the second is for dry ones, because they have different volumes. Which makes sense, I was always a little curious about why a liquid cup looked so much bigger than a dry one... I've been baking for a few years and never ran across this, but now you (and I) know!

Picture Sources: 1 2

Dear Gap,

2010-08-06T07:45:00.000-07:00

(More body image, since yes Caitlin, I do have Operation Beautiful fever). Anyway, I wrote another e-mail to the retail industry (is this becoming a habit? Also, not I didn't actually send the David's Bridal one, but I should have):

Dear Gap,

You have this new ad campaign,

Picture Source

And while I can't say anything better or more articulate than has already been said, I will reiterate:

Please stop trying to sell clothes by making people feel bad about their bodies. Using shame about having a body that does not conform to mainstream beauty standards to sell products is terrible.

Personally, I look awesome in shorts, so I won't be buying your pants.

Thanks,
e.e.

Change the way you see, not the way you look

2010-08-02T08:39:00.000-07:00

I'm a big fan of Caitlin and the Operation Beautiful project. In celebration of the Operation beautiful book, here are a few thoughts I have on changing the way I see, not the way I look :)

I don't look like Marissa Miller, and although I'm sure you, my lovely reader, could find many dissimilarities, the one that stands out the most to me is my poochy stomach. I eat reasonably healthily almost all the time and am somewhat active, but for some reason, the pooch is always there. Sometimes more or less, but always there.

It might be I eat too much sugar via too much fruit, maybe too many carbs or salt, maybe not enough protein, maybe just not enough cardio exercise, maybe.... blah blah blah. There are probably 57 real reasons why my stomach might be like that, and about 57 reasons the internet thinks could be why, but are really ridiculous from a scientific standpoint.

I could experiment with different diets each month, different exercise patterns, and all sorts of different combinations to determine the optimal mix to get me to my most Marissa Miller-like body. And I think I could probably at least get closer, although I'm not particularly convinced my stomach would ever look like hers. But even saying it would, would be be worth it?

Besides just not looking like Marissa Miller, we have other things not-in-common. MM's job is to look the way she does. My job is to learn and spout correct economic ideas at the appropriate times. If I had the same resources, and spent the same time, effort, and money on looking good, I'd probably look a lot better, but have no time for much else, because it's a full-time job.

While I think being attractive is an asset to my job and other areas of my life, attractive does not mean perfect. I am working on dedicating only "reasonable" amounts of time and energy to my appearance. Taking care of myself is important, but excessive worrying? Trying every new diet (and of course, taking the time to read all the reviews)? Spending a lot of time, mental effort, and money on the latest fitness dvd, anti-aging cream, or whatever you go for in your quest to become some size, shape, or celebrity-look-alike that you aren't currently is not our job. Which is freeing. It frees us from worrying excessively about our looks, and gives us time and energy to focus on what really is more important to us.

In somewhat tangential closing, I leave you with my favorite two thoughts about body image:
1. This picture from Fail Blog, and a thought:

Your weight is just as important and meaningful as the "Total".

2. Adapted and added to from here:
I don’t need to change. The size of my pants does not define who I am. I will not be happier 10 pounds from now [or poochy stomach-less]. Life will not be better. People will not love me more. Life will not be perfect. [I will not be a better sister, daughter, lover, or friend.] I choose to love myself today, not when I lose 10 pounds. Don’t wait to live life and enjoy it in 10 pounds. Do it now - you're beautiful!

1.5" by 2.5" of (un)gratefulness

2010-08-01T19:53:00.000-07:00

Picture Source

Somewhere between the boarding pass check to board the flight back to RDU and almost exactly a week later, 10:00pm Tuesday night, my driver's license disappeared. Somewhere along the trek from the pocket of my laptop bag where I stowed it during my journey, to the correct pocket in my wallet, it decided to take its own vacation.

So for the next 5 days I lived as a model citizen. I didn't speed by a tenth of a mile per hour over the speed limit. I didn't drive at all after 10pm. I stopped completely at all stop signs. I skipped happy hour. As much as it seems that small card doesn't matter, it does. I've never been particularly thankful for it before, but I am at least more so now.

My roommate is an international student, and due to paperwork troubles, she could only get her driver's license for a month, and then she has to bring more paperwork and renew it. Another thing I've never been thankful for before is that being a citizen of the USA, I don't have to go through the mountains of paperwork internationals must go through, just to do "simple" things like getting a driver's license. I'm totally grateful to be a citizen of the (Party in the) USA.

Happy thought for a rainy Sunday

2010-07-25T19:02:00.000-07:00

I'm sick. Not sure how this happened, since everyone I know isn't sick, and it's summer? My sore throat and the rain outside, though incredibly interesting, as are not as creative and pretty as:

Candy Sushi.

That is all. One day, if I feel like overdosing on sugar, I will make this. There a lots of ways to die, and a sugar overdose probably isn't the worst. So when the time comes (which I don't anticipate for a long time!), I may go by eating this until it's all over.

Or, I'll wait until I am in possession of someone else's kids, and feed it to the kids right before I give them back, since who really worries about karma anyway?

Weekend Favorites

2010-07-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

I should probably just collect my favorite posts throughout the week, not just the weekends, for these posts, if they're going to be reoccurring.

From this post by Ben Casnocha, it's pretty obvisous to me I should spend less time on facebook. My favorite sentence from it:
'"This is a litmus test I use for how close I am with a friend. If s/he doesn't tell me anything bad about their life, I assume we're not very good friends."'

I think I'll try to only use facebook for communication (responding to messages and contacting people) this week, not browsing?

A sentence from zen habits:

Follow your dreams – even if it’s only for ten minutes a day.

Pretty much everything Scott Adams, the creater of Dilbert, writes is creative and worth paying attention to, but I especially enjoyed this post on how to be a active listener.

In honor of that post my dear readers,

1. Where did you grow up? and

2. What do you parents do for a living?

I grew up just outside a small city in North Carolina. My dad is a computer programmer, and my mom is most recently a CNA.

Home is where you don't need to wear shoes.

2010-07-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

I'm back!!

It's weird. Also, I have bangs again. I forgot about them, and let my hair dry however it wanted this morning. The bangs look funky. I'll work on that.

I have a medication I take every day. It's free. It's called exercise.

2010-07-11T22:10:00.000-07:00

-Grandpa R.

I don't hang out with senior citizens much. Actually, for as much as I love reading about the world, I really don't get out that much. Being with my grandparents the past few days has reminded me of how fortunate I am to have so many things in my life - for my mental as well as physical health, among other things. I am incredibly ungrateful for even my most basic mental abilities (One guy was super excited his wife could remember how to spell "nail"). It's nice to be reminded to be grateful by hearing about other people's misfortune, instead of going through the mental or physical pain/discomfort myself.

And I'm incredibly grateful to be able to handle a 7.97 mile long day in San Francisco, hiking up several blocks of hills like this:

Those hills may be the largest non-natural thing I've climbed in my life.

California here we come

2010-07-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

My sister and I are leaving for California in 2 hours!

I'm not sure how often I'll be able to post while I'm there, visiting my grandparents for the next 2 weeks, but if it's not much, I'll absolutely be back the 21st with some sort of stories!

Until then, enjoy my favorite posts o n packing light!

I'm getting older

2010-07-05T09:09:00.000-07:00

4 reasons why I know this:

1. I recently heard Ke$ha (Blah Blah Blah; some of her other songs are fine) on the radio, and turned her off because she was "just too noisy".

2. The thought of having roommates 3-4 years younger than me is pretty unappealing.

3. There was never a time, when I was a kid, when I would have thought someone my age wasn't an adult.

4. I've never in my life, ever complained about a push up bra pushing up too much. But Victoria's Secret, adding 2 full cup sizes? That's just greedy, and really, the majority of people that want this will be size A or B; anybody bigger than that won't want 2 more, unless they're super greedy. If you're an A, adding 2 cup sizes is increasing your perceived size by 100%? I feel like there is some optimal ratio of padding to actual chest, and this bra makes the ratio greater than one (more padding than actual chest), which is just bad. <- see, I'm old :(

Happier note: New blog design/colors and updated blogroll! Cleaner and simpler :)

Happy 4th of July!

2010-07-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

I'm celebrating mine with Martha Stewart's lovely patriotic desserts. The picture above is of my version of the summer pudding (cut the sugar in half and used brown sugar instead, didn't use much bread, and added a lot more cream). I couldn't get as much sauce as I was supposed to out of the berries, but it was delicious. I'm planning on making a dessert inspired by this later on today.

I digress.
Happy Birthday USA!!

Also, happy anniversary to the guy who brought some girl home to his parent's cookout 3 years ago today,
spent the day at Lake Erie and watched fireworks from a boat on the lake that night with the same girl two years ago today,
sat on the grass by the ballpark for a beautiful fireworks display with the same girl 1 year ago today,
and better take that same girl out for indian food today ;) I love him.

Only vegetables are happy

2010-07-03T21:26:00.000-07:00

Lately, it seems like almost everything is frustrating.

Instead of being completely frustrated, or trying to change things so they won't be so frustrating (an admirable route, just not for me), I'm going to try to view the frustration as at least a somewhat positive thing:

The message of frustration is an exciting signal. it means that your brain beleives you could be doing better than you currently are. -Anthony Robbins.

“People need trouble -- a little frustration to sharpen the spirit on, toughen it. Artists do; I don't mean you need to live in a rat hole or gutter, but you have to learn fortitude, endurance. Only vegetables are happy.” -William Faulkner

The Kohls Bag Policy

2010-06-30T08:58:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I exchanged some things at Kohls for other things. The background story isn't important, but they weren't mine or for me. I was also not exchanging the lovely dress my sister gave me from Kohls for my birthday. It is awesome, and staying in my closet.

Back to the point: As the customer service lady printed out my receipt, I told her, "I don't need a bag."

I do that a lot. I carry around a tightly folded, big reusable bag in my purse, which works well for smaller purchases. For larger purchases, including most grocery trips, I end up using plastic or paper bags too. One day I decided to extend my mild quest to avoid using extra bags to places that don't sell food. Like Kohls. Or thrift stores. I understand that if you're walking around the mall, having a bag to carrying your purchases is perfectly reasonable. I tend to get a bag at the first place you buy, and put future purchases from other stores in the same bag.

But aside from big shopping trips and the mall, for a quick run into the local thrift store to browse the skirts, even if I find an amazing one, chances are decent that I won't need a bag for it. I'll take it straight out to my car, and then straight into the house. And I don't really need a bag, so most places, I ask to not have one. Sometimes people look at me strangely, which is sad, because that means people don't ask to go bag-less very often. I know it can protect the clothes, but seriously, I don't need the bag, and I'm guessing you might not either. So please ask to not have one next time.

The nice lady told at Kohl's replied, "No bag? I'm sorry, but they won't let you take merchandise out of the store if it's not in a bag."

Really? That's what receipts are for. For a company that advertises their "commitment to protecting and conserving the environment" the purchases-must-come-with-plastic-bags policy seems out of place.

Full disclosure: I have a sister that occasionally works at Kohls. She got the cute dress at a discount because of this. Not sure what else this disclosure should involve, so that's it for now. Let me know if you need to know more?

Update: I emailed their customer service, and they said thanks for the comment and they'd pass it on to management :-/

best. thrift store. find. ever. (as least so far in life).

2010-06-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

Don't get too excited -they do have dark gray paint splatters on the front. I wasn't sure what to do with them, but I talked to my sister, and we're going to share them, and wear them to all occasions where paint-splattered, $189 jeans are appropriate (rejected options included making jorts, by cutting off the paint-splattered part). I still want the perfect jeans to make jorts, and I may keep hunting until I find them for less than $5, or I may get bored/tired of it and give up. DO NOT WORRY, I WILL KEEP YOU UPDATED ;-)

Weekend Favorites

2010-06-28T14:07:00.000-07:00

Favorite dish I should have made sooner:

The avocados make it so creamy! It's not the most beautiful thing ever, but it is the most delicious. And easy, and fast. You cut up (in theory, cherry), tomatoes and avocados, and add corn. Then you put salt, pepper, and oil (I used Olive) on it. Then you could feast. In addition to that though, I roasted my corn first (changed my life), and added cucumbers, because I can. And added a little thyme.

Favorite thing that just would be so fun (yes, I am 7 years old).

From J-Wehr's Tumblr.

Hypothesis: Why girls like huge purses

2010-06-27T08:51:00.000-07:00

Source

Because after lugging that around all day, there is no need to take extra time at the gym to lift weights with those arms. They've had their workout already.

Dear Friends from high school/old pen pals,

2010-06-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

I don't understand.
Step 1: You friend me on facebook.
Step 2: You or I send messages back and forth catching up on each other's lives.
Step 3: You unfriend me.

wt*?

I did nothing to offend you to warrant unfriending, but I'm mildly offended now that you unfriended me. Mildly, which is the average of extremely because in the case of one of you, we were best friends for a while, but not really at all, because in the case of all of you, it is still just facebook.

I hope you enjoyed catching up that once, because that's all the catching up we're ever going to do. I, unlike many users, am very particular about what gets posted to my mini-feed (I don't even use the status usually, and you will never get messages about my conquests on farmville, or whatever the kids these days play). This means I don't clog your mini-feed with observations about the temperature outside, or my favorite band's pretty lame lyrics. This does not make me any better or worse than other users, but I'm definitely less annoying to the people who don't care what I ate for breakfast. I don't usually comment on other people's pages, unless I want to hang out, catch up, it's their birthday, or they had an adorable baby. I'm mostly just there if you need me for some reason.

Back to the point: Being my friend on facebook basically costs you no time and effort. Removing me is offensive, and burning a bridge, since if you ever want to get ahold of me again, I'll know you unfriended me when you have to send a message, instead of writing on my wall like normal, civilized people do. Even if you never have to get in touch with me again (which is probably pretty likely), there is the chance I notice you're not my friend anymore (which is maybe a 50% chance?), by either clicking on you via something you did on a mutual friend's profile, or searching for you because you were my friend and I liked you.

To summarize: You should keep me as a friend if the benefits outweigh the costs.
The cost of keeping me as a friend is virtually zero. If there is any potential benefit from keeping me as a friend, which there is, because something possessed you to friend me in the first place, rationally, you should keep me as a friend. Allow me to elaborate, on you, the cost-benefit analysis ignoring, economically irrational former facebook aquiantance of mine (Sidenote: calling someone "economically irrational" is the equivalent of calling them "the cause of the current recession") , the cost of unfriending me is the time it takes to unfriend me, plus the pretty unlikely, but potential greater cost of having to talk to me again, or more likely, me wanting to talk to you and being offended/telling all our mutual friends to stay away from you, you skanky ho. Because really, the only reason to remove me, is so I don't see how much of a ho you are. Or I guess if you have an ugly baby. And there are privacy settings for that. But leave me alone skank, I didn't want to be friends with you and your ugly baby anyway.

Not very sincerely at all, but a little,
e.e.

PS. Oh yes, regarding what I do on facebook, I'm also the resident bandwagon-ish World Cup fan that knows you can stream world cup games for free from http://atdhe.net, even if you can't get the ESPN stream, and if you ask, I will comment on your status so you can be bandwagony too.

[At the beginning of the evening]

2010-06-22T12:57:00.000-07:00

"In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight."
-Source

I like witty dialogue.

Fritolasia and Khandibar?

2010-06-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I tutored a bright young mind in macroeconomics. We were discussing a homework problem he had, asking him to compare the per capita average incomes of individuals in two "countries", "Fritolaysia" and "Khandibar". The tutee turned to look at me, "What are Fri-tola-sia and Kha-nib-ar? Are they supposed to be countries?"

Yes, the fact that they were supposed to be two countries was clearly written in the text, but I get paid to repeat things the tutee would know if he or she read the homework or textbook more closely, so I don't mind repeating and reassuring.

"Yes, they're made up countries. The second one is a weird spelling of candy bar."
"Oh. That's very unprofessional, don't you think?"

Honestly, I hadn't really considered it before, but I think I agree. By using Fritolaysia, as opposed to Malaysia, the teacher was doing a few things I don't like. First of all, the teacher was being unnecessarily confusing - using a real country wouldn't necessitate the question, "Is that a country?"Secondly, and I think more importantly, average income disparity between real countries in the world was being trivialized. Fritolaysia and Khandibar, are not real or important, but income disparity is. Later on, we looked at a problem where productivity was measured in "Gaggles of Gop" per hour of labor.

"That's like a tongue twister!"

True. It doesn't make it more fun, just a lot more confusing. These are really important concepts, but they are hard enough already. Trivial examples can help start explaining, but trivial doesn't mean "tongue-twisting fake names"- please use real items, preferably ones kids these days are familiar with (ie. Miley Cyrus). And when you can, please move beyond the trivial. I completely understand why my tutee has no interest in studying the effects of an increase in the tax on the tools used to produce gaggles of gop on productivity. It just doesn't matter.

Failure is the opportunity to begin again, more intelligently.

2010-06-14T19:22:00.000-07:00

Or maybe:
You tried and you have failed. The lesson is: never try.

Time and life/career reevaluation will tell.

Either way, public failure is very sad and surprisingly humbling. Which is a good thing, because while I know deep down that I'm not all that and a bag of chips, I like to pretend I am. To be objectively told that I'm not, after I've invested months of my life trying to be, while hard for my pride to hear, is even harder to tell other people when they ask.

Yes, I'm talking about my prelims. I got the news back today that I failed the first one (of two total). I have the option to retake it in January, and if I pass then, I stay in the program (assuming I passed the second prelim the first time which I'm still waiting to hear back on, or a retake in January), and if not, I get the boot from my Ph.D. program (a Master's degree).

When the exam began, we each picked a unique alphabet letter to be ours to write on our paper, in lieu of our names so the exams would be "anonymous." Looking back, picking "F" probably wasn't the best choice :)

Weekend Reading

2010-06-12T21:28:00.000-07:00

I'm loving Kate's blog, Eat the Damn Cake these days. She's intelligent, articulate, and has interesting guests (I found her when Gena from Choosing Raw did her guest posts there). This part of a recent guest post she featured stood out to me (talking about body image insecurities):

These insecurities are profoundly vulnerable things for me to reveal because they seem so superficial. I feel as if I should be “above” such concerns, that by admitting that, like most people, I conflate my appearance with my self-worth suggests that I’m not confident about what I have to offer the world.

Via another of her posts, I checked out this post from So much more than a Mom. The gist is that we tend to tell ourselves, "I'll be happy if _____", but sometimes, as Cyndi points out, the if happens and we're still not happy, we just want something different. We still want something more, something else, and THEN we'll be happy. It was a good reminder be mindful and appreciate where I am, and what I have today, instead of squandering the present with longing for an optimistic future.

On a related note, Eric Barker posted on how what makes people happy changes as they age - so basically, even if you do get everything your 20-something self wants, your 60-something self won't want that stuff anymore, so you'll still be unhappy, because you got what you wanted at 20, but now you're 60 and want something else.

How much does a baby cost?

2010-06-12T04:12:00.000-07:00

According to NPR: "A middle-income, two-parent family will spend $222,360, on average, to raise a baby born in 2009, according to a government estimate released today."

Most expensive part is housing, an costs decrease per child as the number of kids increases.
I love facts.
Also exciting, my just-like-my-big-brother's wife is pregnant :)

I need a roommate

2010-06-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

Kind of badly. But somewhere cheap, because I haven't cashed the check from my lottery winning yet. Or gotten any such check. Or ever played the lottery. No matter, the point is: Any suggestions besides craigslist and asking friends if they have friends?

I swear there isn't anything wrong with me. Economics just isn't a great way to meet women, for potential roommates, or other purposes. And I study all the time, so I don't have any other friends. Except the ones with jobs that want to live in non-condemned buildings, which isn't really in my price range. I don't intend to live in a condemned building either, I'll be at school studying when it falls down, so the particulars aren't of much interest to me.

Conclusion: I need to get out more? Or pitch a tent somewhere:
I miss Denali.

Sunshine and Summertime!

2010-06-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

A few observations from a post-prelims world:

It's June. This means I missed most of the lovely spring weather, and now it's just hot.
Breathing is pretty amazing, especially when it is all you have to do.
I have at least 57 things to do, and I haven't even finished the preliminary to-do list yet. Blogging is on the list though!

Most importantly though, I'm alive, which is truly amazing. I had no idea what it was going to be like studying for prelims, but it turned out to be horrible. Not horrible just in an "I have to study all day every day" way, but in a "I cannot deal with absolutely anything else right now without compromising my mental stability" way. It was scary.

Keep it up home girl, don't you quit

2010-05-30T17:28:00.000-07:00

-LFO, every other time

2 days, 17 hours, 33 minutes, 54 seconds, according to this site.
= ~65 hours. wow.

"Today is just a good day in disguise"

2010-05-24T08:24:00.000-07:00

-Paul Venghaus

Every day is the worst day ever

2010-05-23T11:56:00.000-07:00

And I feel like
I'm living the worst day

Over and over again

...

And every day is the worst day ever.

-The elegant and philosophical, Simple Plan

I realize that as a U.S. citizen, it's impossible for me to have a bad day. I don't mean to make light of the plethora of way I am lucky compared to even the average person on the planet. Please realize that this is written by a lower middle class white girl, and I fully acknowledge that. But I kind of hate my life right now.

Hopefully, writing and reflecting a little will make me hate it a little less, and maybe even find the motivation somewhere down deep to keep going.

Background: I have to take 2 preliminary exams to stay in my phd program. One is this wednesday, the 26, and the other is a week later, June 2nd. My job every day since April 30th has been just to study. I've done other things too, but especially lately, it's just been studying.

I've learned a lot. I've made connections between bits of information that we unconnected before. I've seen how economists think, and adopted that entire mindset myself. I dream about graphs that show all sorts of economic principles and demonstrate theorems.

I am in no sense well-rounded. I want to think about other things. I want somebody to feel bad for me because I ate something yesterday that didn't agree with me and my digestive system has been hurting since then. I want someone to recognize that I've been studying for weeks, and tell me how they admire my hard work, and remind me of how it will pay off. I wish I had taken the exams already, and the work had already paid off. I want to be lazy and stop studying all day.... listing things I would rather do (incidentally, the economic term for these is the opportunity cost of my time) will make me more discontented, so I'll stop.

The point is, when I finish this post, I'm going to go back to studying. I will study for the next 10 days of my life because:

1. It's only 10 days

2. I need this to do what I want to do

3. I can absolutely do it if I try hard enough

I could list more things, but I think it all boils down to those 3 reasons.

1. This is a temporary, necessary step in my evolution as a person. It will not last forever, or even much longer than it has already. It's the 23rd - I've been studying intensely for 23 days, and there are only 10 to go. When it is over, I can do anything in the world within my time and $$ budget constraint.

2. So I have to do it. If I don't pass this time around, everything will be worse. I need to do this, and I need to do it now.

3. I already feel really prepared for the 1st test. I need to review things for it, but I need to focus on the second test now. I couldn't pass it if I had to take it today, but I have a decent chance if I put in the time now, so I need to do it. If I don't try, unless the tests are ridiculously hard, I'm just making trouble for myself later on. I'm not just studying because I want to try and it may or may not payoff.

It will. So I will.

Preliminary thoughts

2010-05-16T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'm in the middle of studying for my preliminary/qualifying/whatever you want to call it, but they're REALLY HARD, and I have to pass them to stay a phd candidate exams. I'm taking one in 10 days, and another 17 days from today.

In the past week though, several times, I've heard the same advice. I'm not sure what to do with it, but if I post it here, maybe one day I'll find it again and ponder it then:

You have the freedom to be who you want to be. You have the freedom to live your life as you choose.
-SL

It doesn't mean anything. What matters is what you do next, and that is up to you.
-AC

and

The most important story in your life is the story you have already started writing. You are the writer, you're the star, you are the director, you are the producer. You control the narrative, and you can change the ending, if you want to. If you badly want to change it, you can.

Here are a few suggestions for your story:
Define yourself. Don't let anyone else tell you who you are. Promise me today that no one -- but you -- will define who you are. No one will put a ceiling on you because of race, religion, economic status, and, yes, gender and age.
You define your success. Not society. Not your teachers. Not even your parents. And certainly not a commencement speaker.
-Charlie Rose

Sentence-to-ponder of the day

2010-05-05T17:13:00.000-07:00

From Jennifer James, via Oh She Glows:

Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.

So that's what mindfulness is all about:

2010-05-04T16:13:00.000-07:00

A mindful person lives in the present and does not get obsessed with the future or the past.

More from Anastaysia Goer's guest post at Zenhabits:

It’s important to plan for the future and learn from your mistakes in the past, but it is even more important to appreciate who you are right now and find joy in this state. When you are aware of this moment you are calm and you do not make any decisions that you might regret later.

From a great post (like they all are!), on living a balanced life. I found this part interesting (emphasis added):

If you are grateful for the very first gift that you received in your life (your body) then you must take care of it. It means making healthy choices in life, exercising and being generally active, eating a balanced and healthy diet, letting your body rest when it’s tired and pampering it every once in a while. Your body is the tool that lets you experience so many wonderful moments in life and you need to do your best when taking care of it.

A post-affair wish for a marriage

2010-05-03T20:58:00.000-07:00

From Shirley P. Glass's book, Not Just Friends, talking about a post-affair marriage (bold added):

The challenege is to put the pieces back together, but not in the same pattern... A marriage that has endured an affiar is like a cracked vase: when the crack is repaired, the superglue makes it stronger than before, but you will always be able to see evidence of the crack... Both partners worry Will we ever have what we had before? Although I agree that a crucial goal in recovery is to restore trust... I do not want you simply to have what you had before: I want your relationship to be different from what it was. I want you to be stronger, individually and together, without the vulnerabilities that created the conditions for the affair in the first place.

I'm not married, so this book doesn't technically apply to me, and I also have no such issues in my personal life, don't worry ;) I just think this is an awesome goal for a couples therapist.

Sometimes when the brain can't process things, it denies and avoids them

2010-04-28T10:13:00.000-07:00

And then later on, when your subconscious feels you have the knowledge and strength to deal with those things, it brings them back up.

And even though dealing with them might still be extremely painful, the fact that you subconsciously knew you could do it and move on, is pretty exciting. It means you subconsciously believe in you consciously.

Your subconscious moves things to your conscious to be dealt with, so you can improve your subconscious. As someone who wants to improve many areas of my life, I'm glad my subconscious is on board :)

It's your mind and body saying, "This baggage has been sitting hidden in the corner for too long. It's not in the way of most things, but it's weighing you down, and holding you back. The time has come to get rid of this baggage. Pick it up and throw it out. Then go be free." As painful as that process is, I'm pretty sure being free is absolutely worth it.

Eyjafjallajökull

2010-04-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

Everybody's talking about it.

If anybody reads anything good about the changed air quality and the effect on humans, please pass it along!

These are my 4 favorite related things:

"Iceland's last wish: to have its ashes scattered all over Europe" -- market analyst (source)

Thousands of travellers are stranded throughout Europe as ash continues to rain down from an erupting volcano in Iceland this week. Among them is Norwegian Prime Minister Jens Stoltenberg, whose press secretary reports the official to be “running the Norwegian government from the United States via his new iPad.” (source)

This lovely infographic from Information is Beautiful (global cooling, coming soon!):

And finally, some fantastic pictures (from boston.com):

Why I want what I want

2010-04-19T04:29:00.000-07:00

I want to spend time celebrating with my family, and a few close friends

Because I love them, and want to share important things in my life with them. And they're super fun :)

I want to eat either amazing, incredibly delicious food, or delicious and reasonably healthy food

Because I always want this, leaning towards healthy most of the time.

I want a cake

Because when I was little, the only time we had cake was on our birthdays, and it was incredibly special. You got to pick the kind of cake, and it was just for you, because you were special.

I want to think about where I am in life, where I want to be, and what I need to do to get there

Because my goals are important, and it's easy to lose sight of them.

I want to reflect on the things I did in the past year, and learn from my mistakes and successes

Because I can be better.

I want teal nail polish.

Because it looks like an easy way to add a lot of fun.

I want a puzzle ring, mostly just so I have something to play with when I'm sitting in boring seminars

Because I've been to a lot of boring seminars, lectures, talks...

I want a j. crew giftcard so I can go visit my sister and search for hidden gems at the tent sale at the j. crew outlet nearby her with my sisters

Because shopping, searching, finding, purchasing, wearing, and feeling fabulous is fun. Because my sisters are pretty good at telling me what to get and not get (although the one who is the best isn't a super huge j. crew fan :( ). And because j. crew is expensive. A $25 gift card, even at the tent sale is probably 1-2, at max 3 items. They're decent quality, so they're worth the money, but the fact that they are more expensive than the forever 21 crowd means that I can't afford to buy everything I like - so I buy my favorites, which means I only buy what I absolutely love, and I buy less total.

In 2 weeks, it will be my birthday

2010-04-18T16:28:00.000-07:00

And this is what I want:

I want to spend time celebrating with my family, and a few close friends
I want to eat either amazing, incredibly delicious food, or delicious and reasonably healthy food
I want to think about where I am in life, where I want to be, and what I need to do to get there
I want to reflect on the things I did in the past year, and learn from my mistakes and successes
I want teal nail polish (Picture Source). Honestly, I want toxic chemical free nail polish, but it's expensive, so I don't feel comfortable asking for it. That's really just an excuse though, because I haven't committed to completely stop using "unnatural" health and beauty products. I guess I need to read toxic beauty.
I want a cake
I want a puzzle ring, mostly just so I have something to play with when I'm sitting in boring seminars
I want a j. crew giftcard so I can go visit my sister and search for hidden gems at the tent sale at the j. crew outlet nearby her with my sisters

...more comments and commentary tomorrow!

Good Idea: Drawers Under the Stairs

2010-04-10T06:29:00.000-07:00

From The Unclutterer:

Just don't fill them with junk you don't need!

A (slightly) Different Perspective on Worrying

2010-04-09T06:56:00.000-07:00

I tend to worry about the same things over and over again. And not do anything about them. In case you don't, it's a pretty super habit. I liked the suggestion from Ask Unclutterer though, to not just set aside time to worry (I've heard this suggestion before), but to:

Embrace the worry. Set a timer for an hour, and put your entire focus on worrying during that time. Imagine the worst case scenario and then write out how you would respond to each of these scenarios. You don't get the job X - How do you feel? What do you say to the people who knew you applied for the job? What new jobs do you apply for? How will it change your budget? What would life be like if you had to move in with a friend/family member/your car? What is Plan B? I don't know why it works, but focusing on the worst for an hour usually helps relieve the greatest amount of my anxiety. I typically find that I am prepared to handle all of the scenarios I imagined. Also, if the dark Cloud of Doom looming overhead reappears, I just remind myself of the solution I have planned and the fear subsides.

I seriously doubt I could last an hour doing something like this, but I think the exercise - not just letting yourself think though something, but "totally" worrying about everything about it, getting everything down, seeing it's not that bad (because it never is), and even if it is that bad, at least you have a plan to deal with it, means that in the end, you have to let it go. There is nothing left to worry about, and no point to worrying anymore. If you half-worry, you have to come back and figure out at least the other half, assuming you can remember all the half-worry you already did and don't need to repeat that... If you think through the issues throughly though, particularly if you write it out so you won't forget, it's over, and you're free!

HT: the SHU box

Thought from the past 12 hours:

2010-04-08T06:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sure it's not original, but:

Failure isn't making a mistake, it's repeating the same one over again.

So just move forward, and don't do it again.

Dear Jon Scheyer / Duke,

2010-04-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

You scared me a lot, but in the end, you were who you were, national champions.

I've had you winning the whole thing every year NCSU hasn't been in the tournament, and this year, you had my bracket beat everyone else in my program. You're amazing.

Love,

e.e.

This year was truly - in the words of Coach K, "special," because of one of my favorite college players of all time, Jon Scheyer. I totally love this kid. Mostly because he wears a tank top under his jersey, has that "I'm so clean cut" haircut, generally looks pretty white and nerdy, but is an awesome college basketball player, for a great school. I mean his Duke bio says, he "Enjoys video games, football, his dog Shayna, and taking care of his fish."

Favorite JS quote from his SI Q&A (talking about Rock Band):

I try to sing, and I get through it most of the time, but sometimes get booed off. Friends will give me crap, even before I'm about to sing, and it's very unfair to me. I don't know why they think that every time I get on the mic, I'm not going to sing well.

At scout.com on his sisters:

One time they played this trick on me as they were talking about gophers. And I was like, "What's a gopher?" They said go get this and that and then we'll tell you.

6 other things you should know about Jon Scheyer:

Favorite athlete is Manu Ginobili,
he scored 21 points in 75 seconds in a high school basketball game,
his phone number is 847-970-8498,
he was the victim of "Operation Scheyerface" (and at this point, I feel the need to mention that NCSU beat the national champions in the regular season, which was all the more reason the cheer for them at the end)
he went to Marquette University's basketball camp as an 8th grader, where he played a pick-up game in which he was matched up with Dwayne Wade, and received a scholarship offer from Marquette University at the end of camp, and
in middle school, Scheyer played in the Fellowship of Afro-American Men League, the only white boy to do so at the time.

UPDATE: The phone number is actually his high school teammate's, Zach Kelly. :(

Celebrating along the self-improvement way

2010-04-06T05:54:00.000-07:00

Why I love the Glamorous Grad Student:

You are more than enough as you are. You do not need to transform or be new. Life is not a paint by numbers kit. There is no set of instructions you can follow that will make it a masterpiece. Life is a canvas you've been painting on your whole life and part of the fun of it is that you keep painting.

If I wait until I've affixed a signature in the corner of my painting before I allow myself to feel pride in myself, I will be waiting a long time. So I will not blame myself for failing to create masterpieces in every part of my life. Instead, I will allow myself to feel satisfaction and enjoyment with every brushstroke, not just the final flourish.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll try to explain why this is so meaningful. I can't find the words right now.

Dear David's Bridal,

2010-04-05T10:47:00.000-07:00

So far, you lied to me on multiple occasions, and have frustrated me incredibly. I don't want to waste any more of my life waiting for your employees to talk to their managers, bosses, and anybody else you have hiding in the back, trying to figure out if there is some way to fix this awkward mess.

I propose a solution:

CAGE MATCH.

I dare you.

Thanks,
e.e.

Embrace a lifestyle that focuses on your values, not your possessions

2010-04-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

Source

I love men. And this is a little mean, but true...

2010-03-30T19:03:00.000-07:00

From The Thoughtful Dresser, by Linda Grant, talking about women and men's view of their preoccupation withwhat they wear:

That in announcing this preoccupation they will have confessed that women are not really fully grown up, unlike our male counterparts, who have mature and adult preoccupations without which the human race could not survive, such as moving balls from one end of a grassy field to the other with the aid of the human foot.

HT academicchic

Frat Boys and Shirts - Update

2010-03-30T18:59:00.000-07:00

I did a little research regarding my previous hypothesis regarding frat boys and t-shirts. By "research," I mean I interviewed the closest one I could find. I learned one thing and inferred another:

Learned: The motivation for so many shirts mostly comes from the younger, newer members, seeking to assert to the community at large that they are part of such a hallowed brotherhood.

Inferred: They're boys, but like girls, they totally can't match. This is difficult, when you're trying to wear a shirt from the subset of frat shirts, but cannot wear the same one as 20 of your other brothers... hence, they need 20 different shirts so none of them have to match.

Knowing their "uniforms" though, it must make for a lot of mixed up laundry...

International Women's Day

2010-03-08T12:05:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, these days feminism is seen as either irrelevant, or as the exclusive provenance of hairy legged man haters. But this stereotype is just as ridiculous as thinking that all vegans are pale weaklings who exist on nothing more than wilted lettuce.

From Tasha's guest post at Choosing Raw. Read it.

Knowledge and Wisdom

2010-03-05T20:11:00.000-08:00

"Knowledge is a process of piling up facts; wisdom lies in their simplification."

-- Martin H. Fischer

Pointer via GretaGuide

Infographic Resumes

2010-03-03T07:32:00.000-08:00

I know it isn't necessarily a good idea in general, but I love this list of creative resumes. They're beautiful works of art, that convey very important information, in an amazing way.

Picture Source

New Monday Night Plans

2010-03-01T15:26:00.000-08:00

Cancel everything.

THIS JUST IN:

Airline yield management improved because analytical techniques uncovered the best predictor that a passenger would actually catch a flight he had booked: that he had ordered a vegetarian meal.

From The Economist's Special Report on Managing Information.
In the print edition, there is a glorious 14 pages, including a section on new ways of visualizing data.
There are 8 articles total- I've read 1.5 so far and linked to two. I couldn't find a link to the first one, and I'm too excited to spend time looking for them.

I'm super excited. AND vegetarian!

Womens' obsession with looking young

2010-02-28T09:53:00.000-08:00

Paragraphs that made me think from the awesome Voracious Vegan (I recommend the whole thing though!):

Each year on this earth should be something to celebrate with joy and gratitude, each day a lesson, a gift to be treasured, not something to be shunned and cast aside. Wrinkles and grey hairs are simply the physical evidence that these years are passing, but to many women, even to very young women, they have become so much more. They have become points of obsession and terror, humiliation and embarrassment.

The ability of women of a certain social/economic strata to have the privilege to be able to spend so much of their time and money worrying about such inconsequential nonsense while the vast majority of women in the world struggle to feed themselves and their children is sickening. We need to put down... our wallet and stop wasting our money on overpriced youth serum... We must create... a world in which our young children grow up feeling free to look forward to the next year with unbridled joy and optimism and where our young women take more pride in their mental and emotional prowess than in their ability to wear a size 2 dress and be mistaken for a high-schooler. The years we have spent on this earth should be worn proudly and with confidence, each passing 365 days a mark of adventure, every wrinkle a clear announcement of wisdom gained. By erasing these years, refusing to speak our age, and fearfully hiding these wrinkles with miracle foundation and anti-aging cream, we deny a vital, critical aspect of our very selves and comply with society’s demand that we feel shame and embarrassment about the very thing we should be most proud of: a well lived life.

Quote of the Day

2010-02-20T10:17:00.000-08:00

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” (Ayn Rand)

From Gala Darling's list of 100 Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Now

Once again, Japan > USA :(

2010-02-17T21:15:00.000-08:00

I have a pedometer. I got my first one from my favorite blogger, and my second one from a friend when the old one started going a little crazy. I used to wear it every day, but when my boyfriend's mother started wearing one too, and taking more steps than me every day, I got depressed and stopped tracking it. I still wear it some days for fun, but not to collect hard data.

Apparently Japan not only has the basic kcal burned, steps taken, pedometer, but one that tells you how much you saved by walking the distance, vs. taking a cab. They win :(

Incentives, Journal Atricles, and Blog Posts

2010-02-10T07:29:00.000-08:00

I recently spoke with one of my professors about good reading habits for a graduate student. As this professor runs his own blog, we talked briefly about the optimal ratio of top journal articles to blog posts by top economists - and the more I thought about it, the more I came to one conclusion:

For the majority of economists, the goal of writing a journal article is something along the lines of getting your research out to the community, increasing your citations or prestige, getting tenure, or something similar. There is no incentive to have mass appeal, or explain things in a way that the masses would understand.

When, possibly even the exact same economists, go to their blog though, they are looking for some combination of community interaction through comments and other communication, or to reach more people through increased readership.

Summaries of papers on blogs are often great - succinct, easy to understand with a basic econ vocabulary, and point out the most interesting parts of the research. Journal articles themselves, even their abstracts, have much less incentive to be so user friendly.

Gambling/ChatRoulette

2010-02-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

They're one and the same, I tell you. The Frontal Cortex explains it all.

Also the same is crack cocaine. I had to share my habit, with my roommate, who instead of seeing what proportion of people would wave back (tame), decided to see what proportion of people would believe her stories. Brady, the Patriots fan from Boston (go find him and be addicted too!), believed every word, including the rhino hunt, and the tales of the mud hut we live in, since being from South Africa, when my roommate tells these stories, they sounds more legit than you'd believe...

Dissertation Nuggets of the Day

2010-02-08T17:22:00.000-08:00

Nuggets from Don Davis at Columbia's Essay on PhD. Thesis Research:

It takes just as much time to write an unimportant paper as an important one.
Real world application is necessary to signal importance.
An indicator of a problem's importance is that great minds have spent time thinking about it.
You research must be both new and important.
After reading your paper, researchers familiar with the field should see the world differently.

I highly recommend the essay itself, and anticipate going back to it as my education progresses.

Dear Grandpa,

2010-02-05T11:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Grandpa,

Thank you for the money. I found it today, while I was cleaning out my old desk.

Scattered around the room - my blanket with volleyballs on it, my sewing box, and other things remind me of the gifts you gave me while you were still here. It's not just the gifts though - soon it will be the super bowl. The last time you were conscious was in 2008, and your Patriots had finished the perfect regular season. If they go back and lose the Super bowl eventually, I'll probably cry again.

But back to the money - My name is clearly on the front of the envelope, and "Love Grandpa and Nana Jean, " as well as some other words. Since your stroke, when you started writing with your left hand, it's always been hard to read your writing. It seems ok though, that I can't read the other words, because whatever it was for in the past, now it is for me now. I'm not sure what to do with it though.

I won't try to count or recall all the things you gave me in your lifetime - I just want to say thank you. Thank you for loving me from the moment I was born, not because of anything I did, except to be born with the same blood and last name as you. Thank you for your love.

Love,
e.e.

We're Really Not That Different - None of us.

2010-02-02T15:55:00.000-08:00

She said we're much too different
We're from two separate worlds
And he admitted she was partly right
But in his heart's defense he told her
What they had in common
Was strong enough to bond them for life
He said look behind your own soul
And the person that you'll see
Just might remind you of me

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try
I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry
And I know you do the same things, too
So we're really not that different, me and you

She could hardly argue
With his pure and simple logic
But logic never could convince a heart
...
But never could forget
What he whispered when she left

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try
I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry
And I know you do the same things, too
So we're really not that different, me and you

Was it time or was it truth
Maybe both lead her back to his door
As her tears fell at his feet
She didn't say "I love you"
What she said meant even more

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try
I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry
And I know you do the same things, too
So we're really not that different, me and you

-Colin Raye